Shoujo Ai at the NERV Potluck?
by unannehmlichkeiten
Summary: NERV hosts an annual potlock dinner, and some serious shoujo ai occurs. AsukaxRei, some RitsukoxMaya, and lots of comedy mixed in. Please review, I need to know how to balance my comedy and shoujo ai in later stories!


It was the day of the NERV Tuna Hot Dish Jamboree. All the regulars showed up. Gendou sat as he usually did, unfolding his hands only to eat the various dishes available. Fuyutsuki stood behind Gendou, wishing he could have some of that tuna, or at least sit down for once. Shinji drifted around, indecisive at picking food until he eventually retreated back to his table to watch other people eat. Dr. Akagi had shown up with all 26 of her cats, all of which were craving even one bite of the delicious tuna. Maya sat across the table, watching and wishing _she_ was that tuna. Misato stumbled between tables, half drunk, looking for her seat. Kaji followed at a distance, ready to play the valiant hero and catch her. Shigeru had joined the house band, playing cool jazz guitar with some hard rock overtones (**\m/**). Makoto sat in front of the stage, marveling at his friend's ability.

Apart from everyone else, Rei sat alone at her own table, plate 1/3 full, hands folded neatly in her lap, looking slightly to the right. Every so often, she would reach down and eat a tiny bite of her tuna, chew mechanically, and reset her posture. Asuka, having just arrived from yet another unsuccessful date, felt the need to heckle. She hastily loaded up a plate with food, said her obligatory hello's, and slammed her plate down across the table from Rei.

"You know something Wonder Girl, I just can't seem to have any luck with dates."

"It may be that you lack desirable personality traits."

"No personality!? Look who's talking! You've got no emotion at all! Who'd find that appealing?"

Across the room, Shinji and Gendou cautiously raised their hands.

"I have emotions just like you, pilot Sohryu. I just don't let them out like you."

"Oh! You have emotions, do you?"

"Yes."

"Then prove it!"

Rei slid her plate to the side, and stood up. Asuka thought she would walk away, but the First Child surprised her by leaning in and planting a soft kiss on Asuka's lips.

"Mm! mm…" Asuka's surprise gave in to pleasure as she realized how nice of a kiss it was. After what seemed a long time, Rei pulled away.

"Is that proof enough?"

"I…I guess so." 'Oh, Scheisse,' she thought to herself. 'Now I'll have to call her Wonder Girl for a different reason. That kiss… It wasn't perfect, but so soft. With a little more practice…' "You obviously haven't had much experience kissing, have you, Wonder Girl?"

"No, not really."

Gendou smiled to smiled to himself: "Nope, no beating around the bush here."

Asuka continued to talk with Rei, and the clamor stirred up by the kiss was subsiding. Misato made her way to Shinji's table.

"Shinji?"

"Y-yes Ma'am?"

"Oh, thank God! The last three Shinji's I talked to were very rude!"

Kaji came up behind Misato, and put his hand on her shoulder. "Try to keep her here until she sobers up, Ok?"

"Sure…"

Meanwhile, Rei had followed Asuka under the covered table, and was continuing where their last kiss left off. They leaned in close, and paused there. Rei tried to lean her head to one side to kiss Asuka again, but the mischievous redhead leaned the same way, blocking Rei's chance. Eventually, Rei simply grabbed Asuka by the nose, holding it up as she made contact. She made a rookie mistake though; she held Asuka's nose shut by accident, leaving Asuka squirming for air after a while. Rei sensed something was wrong, and pulled away.

"Is anything the matter, Asuka?"

"I'll say! You can't just hold my nose shut! Not everyone is a magic doll like you who runs on moonlight and shits pixie dust! But you're doing better. Now, try putting your tongue in it…"

The girls kissed again, and Rei learned how pleasurable tongues could be. Nearby, a small jolt interrupted Gendou's conversation with Fuyutsuki.

"Something wrong, Ikari?"

"I just got that feeling again, Fuyutsuki. Someone's making out with my woman."

"Shall I go investigate?"

"No, we will let this play out for now."

"Right…"

After some moans and grunts, Asuka and Rei emerged from beneath their table, rolling out onto the floor to everyone's surprise. Maya saw this, and turned back to Ritsuko.

"Dr. Akagi, why aren't we more like that?"

Ritsuko took out a large riding crop and began to smack Maya with it. "Rule 2, Maya?"

"Ow! Do not- Ow! Do not speak unless the master speaks to you! Ow!"

"That's better."

Asuka and Rei began talking between shorter but more intense kisses.

"Which is sexier, Rei? You in the school uniform, or you in the plugsuit?"

Shinji and Gendou coughed under their breath, "Plugsuit."

"Asuka, why are we doing this?"

"I don't know, there's nothing else to do really, and no one else I want to kiss right now. Did you have anyone in mind?"

Rei looked to Commander Ikari guiltily. "Well…"

Gendou re-locked his hands in front of his mouth. "Forget it. This is also good," he said.

And so it was that on the day of the NERV Tuna Hot Dish Jamboree, Rei finally found an outlet for her emotion, and Asuka found someone she could stand to be with. They resumed their kissing, this time on top of a table, as the awestruck band started playing the song that best described the moment. Yes, it was "Free Bird" by Lynrd Skynrd, and the moment was finally complete.

Fin. AsukaxRei forever!


End file.
